BREXIT Minister David Davis has finally unveiled his true identity, an evil Sith Lord who has just condemned the United Kindgom to a future only seen in distopian science fiction movies.
After resigning his post late on Sunday night, Darth Brexitus commented that his hand was forced due to Theresa May’s soft Brexit plan.
He commented: “It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!”
The dick move comes just twelve months into his 15 month post, leaving some poor bastard with the thankless task of being able to deliver abject poverty and probably a recession.
Speculation as to who will replace Davis as Brexit Secretary is rife, with Liam Fox rumoured to be absolutely fucking dreading being given the job.
Weird self-caricature and the only other person we could think of as a Yoda like creature, Anne Widdicombe, was more guarded, warning: “Always two, there are. A bit of a dickhead, the other one is, called Boris Johnson.”
The next chapter in the Brexit saga, rumoured to be titled “Revenge of the shits” is set against a political backdrop of a crumbling government, separatist movements and all out civil war. Now, where have we heard that before?
Meanwhile, in other never-in-the-same-room trilogy-bending news…
The Shatire 