AN OUT OF HIS DEPTH Marketing Manager is now just blurting out buzzwords where coherent sentences with basic meaning should be, his colleagues have revealed.
46 year old Wayne Hayes has been babbling on about blockchain and bitcoin in an attempt to discuss “where things are going” in the industry in the hope someone might take him seriously.
He commented; “I was trying to teach the team about customer experience and maybe gamify their social selling. Ideating a storyboard around where those ideas will dovetail with the disruption caused by the death of micro-moments among millennials is how we can probably begin to growth hack.”
“All that will be driven by actionable analytics, but that goes without saying. Any idiot knows that.”
Concerned colleague, Becky Dinting, said: “People are taking the piss saying he doesn’t know what he’s doing. We make window blinds.”
“It really isn’t funny when you’re a grown adult coming out with all that when you’ve got three kids and a mortgage to pay.”
“That said, he talks about it all with such conviction, so I guess he should be able to “extrapolate the mega trend” of how doing fuck all every day leads to him losing his job.”
Wayne later added: “I just think if everyone’s on the same page then we won’t be at risk of doing omnichannel disruption wrong.”
The Shatire 