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BREXITER COUNTING HIS HOLIDAY MONEY STILL PRETENDING EVERYTHING’S FINE


AN ANXIOUS LOOKING Brexiter is still insisting the outcome is “still worth it”, despite having paid for some Euros for an upcoming trip to Benidorm, it has been revealed. Ray Dawkins, 62, has explained away his distinct lack of spending money as “just a phase”, offering: “These things fluctuate, so it’ll bounce back. We’re not […]

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“University of Life” Graduate to Advise on final Brexit Trade Deal


Turns out an unbearable gobshite with an at-best mediocre existence is somehow a leading expert on international trade deals of every kind, it has been confirmed. Avid Brexiter and definitely not racist Dave Hayes, 35, from Canvey Island, commented: “What the Government don’t understand is that we can leave the EU on WTO rules, or […]

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A-LEVEL STUDENT IGNORING SHIT ADVICE FROM MEDIOCRE 30-SOMETHINGS


A college student receiving his A-level results has announced he’s not listening to the awful advice of people who left college before iPhones existed and then grew up into nothing, it has been revealed. 35 year-old sales team leader, Nathan Bobson, announced on LinkedIn: “To all those students getting their A-level results today, remember that […]

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