Some jammy git has probably gone and brought a bacon sandwich in from a nearby café because everyone in the office can smell it, it has emerged.
Nobody knows whether to congratulate the culprit or assault them for making everyone hungry, as confirmed by Nathan Dobson, who said: “I’m well jealous now – I bet they ate it in a smug way as well. I just said to Mark from payroll that I’ve got half a mind to get one myself, but I’ll probably just have another brew and forget about it in a few minutes.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t think of getting one.”
Colleague Nicky Dinting, 24, said the rotund nuisance has previous for always: “Awwww I’d love one, but it’s a bit cold outside. Is anyone else going for one?”
Sandra from accounts added: “I got in early and just had my porridge, as I’m being good this week.”
“Smells well fit, though.”
The Shatire 