Stranger in the office pretending to know everyone


A POLITE WEIRDO who is a stranger to everyone in the office is acting like they already kind of know everyone, despite not yet introducing themselves to anyone, it has been revealed.
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Having set-up camp on a nearby hotdesk, the well-mannered stranger, who hasn’t quite managed to say hello to anyone, has proceeded to casually chip-in during office small-talk and ask if anyone would like a cup of tea.

HR Manager Nathan Bobson commented: “I wish someone would have made me aware of this. He’s using my cup for shit’s sake.”

Accounts Executive, Becky Dinting, said the stranger was with half smiles and: “I don’t know if its a new guy or he’s like a supplier. He’s probably here to see the directors, even though they don’t seem to have noticed.”

“They must be a consultant or something? Sandra from payroll will find out when she get’s in from her doctor’s appointment. She’s nosey like that.”

Someone’s got a bacon sandwich, say jealous colleagues


Some jammy git has probably gone and brought a bacon sandwich in from a nearby café because everyone in the office can smell it, it has emerged.

bacon office envyNobody knows whether to congratulate the culprit or assault them for making everyone hungry, as confirmed by Nathan Dobson, who said: “I’m well jealous now – I bet they’ve . I just said to Mark from payroll that I’ve got half a mind to get one myself, but I’ll probably just have another brew and forget about it in a few minutes.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of getting one.”

Colleague Becky Dinting, 24, said the rotund nuisance has previous for always: “Awwww I’d love one, but it’s a bit cold outside. Is anyone else going for one?”

Sandra from accounts added: “I got in early and just had my porridge, as I’m being good this week.”

“Smells well fit, though.”