The missing ingredient to world peace and a better life for everybody is knobheads posting stupid quotes on Facebook next to photos of celebrities who never said them, a new study has found.
Studier of website people, Dr Bob Scadenfreude, claims that “It really would make it all better if we could just have some boring, often ill-thought out, made up quotes that makes everyone who sees it go “yeah, you’re a massive fucking dickhead, you” …but nobody seems interested.”
Defending the findings, Bob continues “We’ve no facts, but essentially we think that doing this would make everything better. And no, I don’t accept the notion that people will use it to post coded, passive agressive things that are really targeted at the people on their freinds list. Nobody is that melodramatic as to post personal issues by way of a made up thing. No-one!”
Facebook user and instawanker, Becky “Super Gornnorhia” Turner, said: “I do understand the need for these quotes, especially from the likes of, say, Marilyn Monro. Take me, fron instance. I have absolutely nothing to offer a man in return for being “selfish, impatient, etc”, apart from that I swallow. So I guess I could give it a go… after all, she was a drug addict who slept around, so I can see how she’s an icon for every woman on the planet. In fact yeah, I’ll do it.”
Fellow #tard and pulled-nonsense loving mouth, 23 year old Nathan “shanky” Blakey, said it seems like a good idea, adding: “This movement could even be extended to other places, like instagram. We could use it to point out other people’s insecurities, especially if they don’t lift. We could inspire people to be a “real man” and slap girls’ arses amd stuff. I might not want to see my kid or have a job, but I know what a real man is, you know. Because I know what sounds cool to me!”
In a final plea for a better future, Dr Schadenfreude exclaimed: “We need an initiative that gives Facebook not the army of borderline illiterates it needs, but the one it deserves. Even if they started off by posting some deep quotes Rihanna never said, we would in fact achieve world peace eventually.”
The Shatire 