President Obama has killed the top level “Boss” on Call of Duty, after a two year session playing the game online with senior staff. Obama, whose username is “motherfuckernumber1” eventually slayed Bin Laden after an eleventh hour skirmish left the president with just a stun grenade, a knife and 20% health. The recent stint followed […]
Read More BREAKING NEWS: Obama completes “tricky” computer game.
Pop-twat-combo, Bono and Justin Bieber have all but declared war on Japan and plan to release an album, adding to the tsunami-hit country’s nuclear woes with their god-awful music. The pair made the declaration after seeing public interest switch to something other than themselves, for once adding that “something must be done!” After declaring that […]
Read More Bono & Bieber: Japan attention “unnecessary” without us
Women are going to “like, SO” bore the complete fuck out you by next April, or perhaps even before, in an attempt to tell you and everyone else their opinion on Prince William and Kate Middleton’s royal wedding. Thanks to a pre-emptive strike by (let’s face it, the female contingency of) the world’s whoreish media, […]
Read More BREAKING NEWS: Women to wear out the words “like, so” for Royal Wedding
In a bolding reform sweep up of Britain’s classrooms, David Cameron has briefed the nation’s teachers and children on removing struggling pupils right to one to one tuition, declaring “The stupids will be on their own. I mean it!” In an audacious assault on the right to education this week, which included pulling Nick Clegg’s […]
Read More BREAKING NEWS: Stupid kids “on their own”, Cameron tells Britain’s classrooms.