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BREAKING NEWS: Driverless Conservative Party by 2021, Chancellor Confirms

The Conservative Party is to go “fully-autonomous” by the year 2021, a leaked report from the Treasury confirms. Details from the leaked report outline how a proposed £75 million investment in futuristic ‘Tor-E SleazeBots’ will mean that the party can dispense with having any sense of direction whatsoever. Chancellor of the Exchequer, Philip Hammond, was […]

BREAKING: Osborne warned by Thatcher “This is how they’ll feel about you, but fuck ’em!”

Milk-snatching cowbag, Baroness Thatcher, from her deathbead, instructed the ever-smug George Osborne to remain steadfast in his plans to screw the country over, telling him “they’ll hate you too, but that’s why we’re Tories”. The ex-former PM was last night admitted to hospital her final stroke and, despite doctors desperate efforts to find a soul, the […]