Because it's all a bit shit, really
An infant who is routinely applauded for taking a dump is set to do great things in life, and will definitely not be the type of dipshit who expects a round of applause for completing the most tedious of things, it has been revealed. Wet-nursed child, Nathan Bobson, 3, has explained his plans for stating: […]
Read More CHILD WHO IS CLAPPED ON THE POTTY DESTINED FOR GREATNESSAWFUL PARENTS have have been told that having a “graduation ceremony” for three year olds who can’t form coherent sentences isn’t an achievement, nor something anyone should be celebrating, reports confirm. Mother of three, Becky Dinting, 31, has confirmed how she has been coping with the bombshell that teaching her child to celebrate “graduating” from […]
Read More Graduating from nursery isn’t a f*****g thing, parents toldLYING adults are still referring to a hideous newborn as “cute” and other similarly deceptive pleasantries, despite everyone having functioning eyes which tell them otherwise, reports confirm. Proud Mother Becky Dinting, 26, gushed: “Awww, Isn’t she beautiful? Everyone always says how gorgeous she is, the little charmer.” Two-faced Janette Lawton, best friend of the baby’s mother, commented: “I say she’s gorgeous on all her […]
Read More BREAKING NEWS: Ugly Baby Still Referred to as “Cute” Despite the ObviousAn educated woman of childbearing age is having something called “a life” before deciding to end it all by having children, it has been revealed. The shock revelation came after childless PR Director, Becky Dinting, 30, was questioned for the hundredth time this week on the prospect of bringing children into the world. She explained: “My friends are all […]
Read More Grown woman capable of life before childrenA newborn baby’s given name is causing no end of awkwardness as people avoid talking about how awful it is, it has been revealed. The awkwardness started when proud Dad, Nathan Bobson revealed the infant’s weird designation on Facebook. The little cherub was welcomed into the world with a nearly-aspirational name, which sounds like it was entirely made up – and a […]
Read More Nobody mentioning new baby’s horrific name
The Shatire 