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BREAKING NEWS: Driverless Conservative Party by 2021, Chancellor Confirms


The Conservative Party is to go “fully-autonomous” by the year 2021, a leaked report from the Treasury confirms. Details from the leaked report outline how a proposed £75 million investment in futuristic ‘Tor-E SleazeBots’ will mean that the party can dispense with having any sense of direction whatsoever. Chancellor of the Exchequer, Philip Hammond, was […]

Read More BREAKING NEWS: Driverless Conservative Party by 2021, Chancellor Confirms
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Every pub “now a f*****g créche” confirm fed-up adults


SPITEFUL PARENTS are secretly enjoying being massive bastards by taking their feral children to places dedicated to drinking alcohol, everyone else has confirmed. Irresponsible Mother of three, Becky Dinting, commented: “We totally resent the idea that pubs are only for adults. If we can’t enjoy it while trying to ignore our kids I suppose neither should you, lol.” The holy […]

Read More Every pub “now a f*****g créche” confirm fed-up adults
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Graduating from nursery isn’t a f*****g thing, parents told


AWFUL PARENTS have have been told that having a “graduation ceremony” for three year olds who can’t form coherent sentences isn’t an achievement, nor something anyone should be celebrating, reports confirm. Mother of three, Becky Dinting, 31, has confirmed how she has been coping with the bombshell that teaching her child to celebrate “graduating” from […]

Read More Graduating from nursery isn’t a f*****g thing, parents told