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Facebook likes “dwindling” for re-posted wedding photo


A NEW WIFE has expressed her concern about the lessening number of likes her wedding photo is getting each time she re-posts it on Facebook. Hurt Becky Dinting, 27, said the lack of support among her friends about her marriage is both upsetting and disrespectful. The no-longer-bride explained: “Honestly, I don’t know what’s gotten into people. Maybe my friends are too good all of […]

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“What’s with the ugly kid in school uniform craze?”, parents asked


Social media users have issued a collective plea for parents to explain the need to clarify what their ugly children wear when they go to school, it has been confirmed. Facebook user and former child, Nathan Bobson, 29, said: “I had heard there are these uniform things the kids have to wear, which sounds archaic. While I’m glad […]

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Infantile graduate struggling with the whole “work” thing


A piece of shit newcomer to the workforce has endeared herself to colleagues by failing to grasp the concept of professional behaviour or something called “work”, it has been revealed. Entitled PR graduate Becky Dinting, 23, joined the company in July as a junior exec and her so far stellar performance has resulted in out-annoying every single one […]

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Dating websites in “drugged-up tiger” photo shortage


Dating websites have reported a record shortage of photos featuring morons on their gap year posing with heavily sedated tigers, it has emerged. Despite there being lots of single morons, there has been a vast reduction in the rate of smiling dickheads in Thailand posing with half-dead big cats on dating websites. Terminally single Becky Dinting, 27, from Rochester said: “I […]

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Toddler to totally appreciate birthday party effort


A two year-old has expressed his heartfelt thanks for the over the top effort that went into his lavish birthday party, it has been revealed. The oblivious two year old thanked family and friends by wandering about with a mushed up carrot stick in between his fingers, shouting “Orange! Orange” before inexplicably crying and then falling asleep for the rest of the day. The […]

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