A college student receiving his A-level results has announced he’s not listening to the awful advice of people who left college before iPhones existed and then grew up into nothing, it has been revealed.

35 year-old sales team leader, Nathan Bobson, announced on LinkedIn: “To all those students getting their A-level results today, remember that in ten years’ time, your qualifications won’t matter, but what you did to create your own opportunities. I got three Cs in social studies, music and english and look at me. You’ll be fine.” before tweeting Jeremy Clarkson’s 14th annual smug humblebrag about how fucking rich and unfunny he is.

18 year old college leaver, Tom Hayes said: “To be honest I’m not really paying attention to what other people are saying. I’m just concentrating on getting shitfaced at the leavers ball and maybe getting off with Becky Dinting, finally, who I’ve been told likes me. It’s gonna be lit.” 

“Are 35 year-olds even on SnapChat?”

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