SPITEFUL PARENTS are secretly enjoying being massive bastards by taking their feral children to places dedicated to drinking alcohol, everyone else has confirmed.
Irresponsible Mother of three, Becky Dinting, commented: “We totally resent the idea that pubs are only for adults. If we can’t enjoy it while trying to ignore our kids I suppose neither should you, lol.”
The holy show continued: “Anyway, why should they get to enjoy all the pubs? So what if our prams clog up every bit of spare space and our spoiled kids are noisy shits? A drink is still a drink isn’t it?”
Mrs Dinting’s husband James echoed his screechy spouse’s sentiments, suggesting that people aren’t bothered by pub going parents’ inability to control their precious fucking children. The lethargic twat confirmed: “To be honest they’re no trouble, probably. Sure they’re noisy and that, but the staff just run around after them anyway – some people even smile when they catch their attention, but I guess you could say their judgemental grins don’t seem all that genuine. And a bit forced.”
“But that’s what a family pub is for, isn’t it?”
Single pisshead, Nathan Bobson, 28, said: “The only enjoyment I get now is when one of them gets smacked across the face for being a horror. But then again it just ruins the mood.”
A confident Mrs Dinting later added: “Wine bars? Yeah …they’re family pubs as well, aren’t they?”
“Who cares if it is Sunday?”
The Shatire 