A know-it-all graduate has used their 23 years of experience on this earth, of which 18 have been spent as a child, to explain something profound and/or useful to you about life, it has been revealed.
Having travelled to several destinations popular with other gap year wankers while avoiding adult responsibilities, 23 year-old Becky Dinting concedes she’s at an advantage to other mere mortals because of her “vast life experiences.”
The unemployed genius explained: “I’ve been through so much. You shouldn’t judge me unless you know me. My life experiences have made me the woman I am today.”
Solidifying her elite status among other entitled gobshites, the art history graduate came out with some other elaborate bullshit, adding: “As a woman, I don’t need to ask permission to have a voice in the world, even though society wants to dictate otherwise to us.”
Expanding upon on the his girlfriend’s impassioned monologues, boyfriend James, 27, revealed the couple enjoy heated debates. He commented: “Yeah, I don’t know where this “asking permission” thing has come from, seeing as it patently isn’t true.”
“She says I’m not meant to know obvious things because I ‘don’t even have a degree’, but I don’t see how an unemployed graduate can be “oppressed” if their parents have just spunked twelve grand to fund their gap year and they still live rent-free.”
“Still, it kind of nips things in the bud when you point out that all the major feminist victories have already happened.”
“For example, the Suffragette movement not only won women’s right here in the UK, it kick-started the civil rights movement worldwide. That and the paradigm of the glass ceiling being broke means we’d no longer make such a big deal of a female state leader.”
“The sex is great, though.”
Becky’s Mum Elaine Dinting, 52, confirmed: “I’m glad she’s back now – the gap year nonsense has cost a bomb, her father said. She has changed a bit, though, judging by some of the things she comes out with.”
“I think she must have watched Russell Brand or something. He’s so funny.”
“She did get a first in her degree though, so I guess she’s earned all of her successes.”
The Shatire 