Dating websites have reported a record shortage of photos featuring morons on their gap year posing with heavily sedated tigers, it has emerged.
Despite there being lots of single morons, there has been a vast reduction in the rate of smiling dickheads in Thailand posing with half-dead big cats on dating websites.
Terminally single Becky Dinting, 27, from Rochester said: “I don’t know what’s happened. Where there used to be tigers, there now seems to be all these tough mudder photos. I’m sat here on tinder like ‘what the actual fuck?'”
“I think it’s just dead brave, being next to an abused wild animal who you’d stand no chance around if it hadn’t already given up on life. How else am I to determine if you’re boyfriend material or not?”
“It’s almost as good as a gym selfie!”
Single recruitment manager, Nathan Bobson, 28, thinks something needs to be done about the shortage, explaining: “I mean yeah, she might be hot, educated, likes footy and insists on going Dutch, but if I can’t see her next to a drugged-up bengal tiger, how do I know she’s the one for me?”
“Maybe include one of you in Machu Pichu just to make sure. Better still, why not have one with you and all your fit mates in so we don’t know you’re the “no” one?”
“I always choose the hottest girl. It never works, lol.”
The Shatire 