The oblivious two year old thanked family and friends by wandering about with a mushed up carrot stick in between his fingers, shouting “Orange! Orange” before inexplicably crying and then falling asleep for the rest of the day.
The carefully crafted gesture came after the mite pretended to be humble about his ridiculous mountain of presents. This was followed by ignoring anything to do with the people who had showed up to his special fucking day.
Teary-eyed Mum Becky Dinting commented: “Awww, no, he knows how much he means to us. Obviously I’ve made sure everyone knows on Facebook how much effort we’ve gone into with all the presents and decorations, plus we got loads of clothes. So yeah …that’s totally worth it, right?
“No. No, it’s not an orange, it’s a carrot. Say C-A-R-R-O-T.”
The baby’s doting father, Nathan Bobson said: “Not being funny but, there’s no way it will remember who got what when I can’t even tell you who came. I don’t even know what we’ve got, other than a load of cleaning up.”
Nathan’s brother, Uncle James added: “So, can we like, go now?”