Grown adults who clap whenever they laugh are the worst kind of people you could ever meet, it has been revealed.
The recent study found that a link between clapping when you laugh and being a horrible bastard is made during childhood. Professor Ray Dawkins, who led he study, commented: “We’ve dubbed it the “Caligula complex” where an individual thinks everything exists for their sole amusement, even though what they’re laughing at usually isn’t funny.”
“Unfortunately it all stems from their over-protective parents treating them like little darlings. More often than not, individuals will turn into a horrible shit who somehow ends up running their own company.”
Hallmarks of the condition include complete contempt for other human beings and a distorted sense of social respectability. Other traits include a fondness of skiing and referring to ones self in the third person.
“Another key finding was that these individuals are the most likely to laugh at disabled or homeless people. They often add glib remarks which highlight fairly obvious observations which most of us wouldn’t find funny, let alone mention. It’s kind of like they’re being sarcastic but …not.”
Study participant, Nathan Dobson, guffawed: “Woooo, nerrr, look at me. I don’t even have a house ’cause I’m so fucking special! It’s so funny. Haha.”
The Shatire 