SHAMED Former home secretary, Jacqui Smith has staunchly defended her choice to submit expenses for porn films, stating “so what if I’m a right goer?” ahead of the release of her debut porn film, BareBack BenchMP’s.
The former Chief Whip resigned from the cabinet in 2009 amidst the expenses scandal perpetrated by her less seedier ex-colleagues, when her husband charged two films (Deep Meat 9 and Chunky Whores 3, since you asked), a ball gag and a Black Prince double-ended dildo to the public coffers via her credit card. She now claims the time is right to lift the lid on her sordid love of smut, having even changed her name to MissChief Whip-lash.
In an interview with Bravo, Madame Smith also revealed how her sick fucking husband watches “at least two to three” porn films a day, adding “He’s always tossing off. I can’t bring people round, you know. If he doesn’t do it at least twice a day he bumps into stuff – it stops him dry humping me, besides.”
When asked about her husband’s reaction of her move into porn, Smith retorted “He’s in his fucking element – it was his idea! He always wanted to watch me go at it with a massive sambo while laughing at his tiny cock and, naturally, I loved every second of it.”
BareBack Bench MP’s will be available free with the Radio Times on Monday.
The Shatire 